In a press conference following his resignation, ex-New York Governor Eliot Spitzer expressed regret that the cause of his disgrace wasn’t a bit more out-of-left-field.
"I was hoping that if I went down it would be for something original, or something that at least wasn’t the exact opposite of what I claimed to be fighting against," Mr. Spitzer announced on Friday. "I mean, as far as disgraces go, I’d say that’s really pretty lame, and that the people of this state deserve better. A beheading, or I secretly married my sister, something. But channeling state funds into a hooker service after doing all that railing against corruption, immorality and vice - I used to be better than that. I mean, I didn’t go to Harvard for that kind of bland boobery. I think it was all the sex with hookers that sapped my drive to do better."
--by Eli James
"I was hoping that if I went down it would be for something original, or something that at least wasn’t the exact opposite of what I claimed to be fighting against," Mr. Spitzer announced on Friday. "I mean, as far as disgraces go, I’d say that’s really pretty lame, and that the people of this state deserve better. A beheading, or I secretly married my sister, something. But channeling state funds into a hooker service after doing all that railing against corruption, immorality and vice - I used to be better than that. I mean, I didn’t go to Harvard for that kind of bland boobery. I think it was all the sex with hookers that sapped my drive to do better."
--by Eli James
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