Seriously. That way you won't come off completely self-indulgent and desperate for attention when you ask the entire internet to pray for your parent, when you reveal that your boss just yelled at you, when you describe your last date, or relate the severity of your premenstrual symptoms.
You can get away with a lot if you put all those things into a song. You don't even have to change the wording. Seriously, you can write about anything in any way you want as long as there's a beat going underneath.
And, believe me, I understand the urge to post about every hour of your day. It's the age we live in. We are lonely lonely creatures. All human beings are, deep down, good and lonely, even when surrounded by loved ones. And when we describe our deepest, sincerest anxieties, we know someone on the internet will read it - and maybe even comment on it. And we won't be left alone, unheeded and misunderstood, for any stretch of time.
But truth is - most of what we think elicits sympathy from our Facebook friends is actually just earning grimaces, cringes, and utter disbelief that we actually had the balls to write "RIP Mom 1948-2010" for our Facebook status.
I must include myself in that race of offenders. I put my most personal self-indulgent thoughts in a god-damned BLOG! So, from now on - mournful self-obsessed brooding shall only be written in song form. Songs you may or may not hear. Songs that might be written on a rubber band.
Congratulations, my friends. The way forward is clear. I'm so excited about this. Music is COOL!
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