Oh my gosh, I am so sorry you guys...!

I have GOT to stop letting weeks go by between blog entries. It's just not fair to you all. Yes, I've been JET SETTING (see above photo for proof), and SHAKING HANDS WITH PEOPLE NEAR MY JET (example, not proof, provided below),



But seriously, this has got to stop. After all, I am a smart, sophisticated, well-read urban individual with astute observations about life and a wit that anyone with a comparable but not better education than I have would enjoy. To NOT force my views down the public's throat would be like going to an open mic and NOT playing a Dylan cover. It leaves a hole.

So, what's on my mind today? Careful, asking me that question is no small thing. It's like asking Ben Bernanke if it's going to rain. It can have outrageous effects on the direction the globe twirls.

Good thing I'm asking it of myself, which neutralizes the worst effects.

HERE IT IS. Hope you're sitting.

(My personal experience with these things would imply that you are.)

Being a jet-setting person (above and above), I decided I could not wait any longer to update my lifestyle, so I spent about three nonconsecutive hours today considering which of the following to purchase: a Blackberry, a Blackberry-like device such as a Moto Q or Samsung Blackjack II (Blackberry, Blackjack - it's so confusing!!!), or, wait for it, the iPhone.

At the AT&T store I talked the guy's ear off, or made him talk mine off, taking me through them all. Which device is best for MY lifestyle, MY particular needs, MY acting career. Which one will help me look up Dylan lyrics for the open-mic without any career-killing delay?

I was on the verge of pulling the trigger on one of the said devices, when I decided to take yet another moment/day to think about it. (One of about 18,300 days/moments I've taken so far...) I went to an audition for a commercial, and even committed more man-hours and gray matter to the subject by interviewing my rival auditioners about their PDA's. One guy loved the iPhone. Said he had his doubts, but they've been cured. Said the little controller on the BlackBerry can fall off. Said unless you're a CEO, you don't need to worry about getting your emails the split second they hit your inbox. You CAN wait five, even ten, minutes to see them.

I did my audition, then ambled (sorry, jetted)over to yet another AT&T store in another part of town, hoping to finally make my dreams come true, one way or the other. I then opted to go home instead. I was tired and hungry. My clothes were starting to smell (I'd been wandering the city between various mobile phone stores for about four hours.)

I got home to Brooklyn and checked my email. There was one. "Half Price on 'Forbidden Broadway' Tickets! Act now!"

And I was just KICKING myself, 'cause that email was FOUR HOURS OLD! I couldn't "Act Now!" I was acting way after the bell had rung. I had to kiss my special discount tickets to "Forbidden Broadway" goodbye. And it's closing this year too! I read about it in Playbill! There will never be another Forbidden Broadway ever again.

No more silly buggers. It's on. I will not rest until I have a new phone that will prevent this calamity from repeating itself. Another four hours spent harrassing phone salesmen? Another monthly expense shoved onto to my debit card after entering Week Number Four of unemployment? Doesn't matter. I've got to do it.

Information is power.